Tuesday, June 05, 2007
To be honest, I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I have no one else to tell and I have to get it out.
My cat, Apollo, was sleeping on his spot above the stairs Monday morning. I was already at work when my wife called. He must have rolled over in his sleep and fell to the stairs below. He broke his neck and died instantly.
He wasn't that old - only eight. He sat on the table with me outside in the garden all afternoon Sunday while I read "Lord of the Rings" and smoked my pipes. I fed him Monday morning and called him "knucklehead" like usual. Now he's gone. Apollo was a friend and companion. This morning was really hard - he wasn't there to annoy me about chow while I made coffee. He wasn't there to get his cuddles before I got in the shower. He wasn't around to beg for the yogurt lid so he could have his morning treat. I feel really empty.
The worst thing is that it hurts so much but I have to keep it together cause I'm back at the office. People can't understand my loss - my wife and I have no children. Our cats were the closest we had to a "family". You can't just put something like that away.
When your pets are sick and cannot care for themselves anymore or when they are suffering, it's easier to let go, to be able to say "it was time". It wasn't his time.
Our other cat, Luna (his sister) has been taking as hard as the rest of us. She's just hidden in a cabinet upstairs and comes out only in the evening. I know she knows he's gone - she saw his body and looked into his grave for a while before we buried him.
I read the Rainbow Bridge text and wrote him a note on the paper before we put him in. My wife left his favorite toy mouse. We planted a tree above his grave so that he'll never be disturbed.
I know it will take a while to put all of this behind me. I can still see him sitting in his spot in the garden. Best of all, I know his spirit is with us and he'll be waiting for me on the Other Side.
He was a good buddy. I will miss him.
Damn I miss my cat.