All that is gold does not glitter...

Servus,

Pulled pork.

Pulled pork is a type religious ecstasy - when done correctly, it blocks your external awareness and expands your mind in a form of euphoria. Anyone who has experienced this will readily agree.

You may say that this is extreme in its description but once you have a bite of that meat, you close your eyes, all other input is blocked out, and your thoughts are filled with only two things: how delicious it tastes and that you need more. Much more.

All you need is:

Heat
Meat
Time

Now, a helping of previous experience makes a world of difference but it really isn't necessary. Everyone started solo once and unless you made a grave error, the meat turned out fine.

Lets get to the photos, shall we?

Here is the beast, bound. 5.1 kg (11 pounds for you non-Metric types)



This is a boneless pork shoulder, which means that they destroyed the poor thing getting the bone out. That's why we bound it with butcher's string. You can use a bone-in shoulder but most people agree that it takes longer.



We then smeared it with mustard and covered it with Raichlen's Basic Barbecue Rub. Wrapped in plastic wrap, it marinaded for something like 12 hours.



During the lull in the action, I prepped the grill using the Minion Ring technique and got everything ready so that all we had to do was place the meat, light the fire, and close the lid.

20 hours later...



Final stats:

End temp meat: 90'C
Internal grill temp: 105'C

So, in foil and in the warmbox...



Tara wanted to help.

So, after an hour of terrible waiting...



A meteorite is born!



Here's the "pulled" part of the event. If the meat is done right, you should be able to separate the pork with a fork using a vigorous pulling action.





So, this is what you end up with. The meat is hot and juicy and has this wonderful smoked twang. I have difficulty describing it...



Even Kali (the portent of Satan) could not resist the aroma of fresh pork!



So, I had some friends over because as my mentor Dave would say "spreading the word about good barbecue is doing God's will" and your average German has never experienced anything like this. Watching them pack away 3 and 4 (! I only had two...) sandwiches and seeing their eyes roll back into their skulls with pleasure was worth the 20 hours sacrificed to make this.

And that's how I see this - spreading the Good News to the uninitiated.

Take some time and make barbecue. I assure you that it will be time well spent.

I bid you Peace,
Jake

Cat-related posting

Time spent with cats is never wasted.
Sigmund Freud

Servus,

My girlfriend made me aware of a "problem" with this blog: a complete lack of cat-related content. I tried to argue that I don't want this to be a forum for showing off our furry charges and making crazy cat lady-like declarations on how smart and special our kittehs are.

I got "the look" and was reminded that I didn't want to do a food blog.

















So, without further ado, allow me to present:


Kali



aka "SuperKaliKatze" "Säbelzahn", "Knucklehead!", "Black Devil", "CAAAT!!", and "Satan's Spawn"

Kali's hobbies include:

Eating
Terrorizing her sister
Chasing after Mr. Dot
Watching birds she can never hope to catch
Sunbathing
Holding the aquarium lid down
Licking my eyelids at 0545 when she's hungry



Fun Kali Facts:

Kali can eat and eat and eat and never gains any weight. For this superpower, I hate her.

Kali lost all her teeth to FORL, which sucks but doesn't seem to slow her down one bit. Play-fighting is buckets of fun when she attacks and tries to gum my hand to death...

Kali is, by nature, stealthy. I have about two pictures of her where her innate stealthiness has not caused the autofocus on my various cameras to stop functioning correctly. Take that, Lockheed!

And now...


Tara



aka "SuperTaraKatze", "GrumpyCat", "Her Highness", "Schissbux", "CAAAAT!", and "Dumbass".

Tara's hobbies include:

Eating
Being terrorized by her sister
Whining
Being annoying
Sleeping
Hiding whenever she thinks we're going to box her up and go to the vet, which is always.
Getting really, really high on catnip...





Fun Tara Facts:

Tara triples her body weight when she sleeps, making it nigh on impossible to move her in the middle of the night when she sleeps on the bed.

Tara lost all her teeth as well, but this is to relieve symptoms of Lymphocytic-Plasmacytic Gingivitis Stomatitis (LPGS).Tara is our worry child - she's sick pretty often and we hated to take her teeth out but it was the last resort. Poor kitty :(

Tara likes to sleep on you. Not with you, on you, like on your hip or shoulder. Nothing is more fun than to wake up, twisted about with a 4.5kg cat lying on you. She also has a phenomenal internal gyroscopic system that allows her to stay firmly planted despite shaking and twisting efforts to get her to get off you. I should inform NASA.

So, there you have it - our kittehs. I love the little bastards, I really do.

I bid you Peace,
Jake


In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Terry Pratchett

Birthday Deliciousness!!!

Servus!

Last week, a good friend of mine had his birthday. He decided to celebrate with his partner and only a small circle of friends, of which Anna and I belong to!

Dinner was a 4 course meal, leaning toward seasonal/regional specialties -

First course: Mini Zweibelkuchen



Muffin-sized zwiebelkuchen which were very tasty and just the right start for this cool Autumn evening.

Next course: Hokkaido pumpkin soup with Balsamico cream



This was very well done. The only complaint was that it was very filling, so most of us were regretting having that second zwiebelkuchen, as those were filling as hell as well...

On to our main course: Medallions of porc with sage, chantrelles, and homemade gnocchi.



This was the delicious death blow. Despite the flavors of the fresh chantrelles, the pork tenderlion and sage, the combination with the homemade gnocchi (really good, BTW)had all and sundry unbuckling their belts for relief.

But wait, there's more...




Anna decided to make a mousse au choclat tarte for dessert. Now, traditionally Chocolate Mousse is supposed to be a light, fluffy yet still rich dessert. Strangely, it didn't come out "light" or "fluffy" Combined with a amarettini base, we each had the barest sliver but were still overwhelmed by the richness of the chocolate.



How we were able to drive home is still a mystery.

My friend made an incredible meal, as always! Chapeau!

I bid you Peace,
Jake

Spinach Quiche of DOOM!!!

Servus!

I think I need to stop taking pictures with my phone - the quality is really starting to degrade... Maybe I need to clean the lens or something?

On with the show!

On the weekend before last, Anna's family came to visit (incl. brother and girlfriend) and we were pressed to do away with some rather delicate deliveries from our Biokiste. Specifically, we had fresh spinach that was dying before our very eyes. Solution?

Spinach quiche:




Which was OK. Anna and I both agree that the pie lacked something but what that was, we weren't sure. It was tasty but it was like we had forgotten a spice or an ingredient. Strange.



I bid you Peace,
Jake

Wok of Ages!

Servus!

Mad props to the Kingdom of Loathing people for the inspiration for today's post title. An Adventurer is You!

So, Anna and I decided to fire up the grill and make some Asian-style chow!

I received the Weber Grill Wok for my birthday and can confidently say that this is a truly cool piece of equipment! Having tried to use my big wok on the stove, there just wasn't ever enough heat. Now, 10 seconds after adding the oil, I am stir-frying like a master!

You will note that I said "Asian-style". The (insert Asian culture of choice) have been cooking this way for generations and it would be an insult to say that I am cooking "Chinese" or "Japanese" because I'm not. My attempts to emulate one style or another are usually tasty!

Behold!



The flavors, the colors!!!!!



We used turkey (cause it's non-threatening) and I found the rolling the pieces in corn starch with a bit of salt and pepper made them turn out nice and crispy. Veggies were added after taking out the meat - this keeps everything from being horribly overcooked, a problem of mine in the past.

Now, I will admit, I cheated. Making Asian-style sauces from scratch that taste good is pretty challenging (read: impossible) so I used a *gasp* store-bought sauce: much to my shame, I cannot remember the brand. It was damned good though!

I bid you Peace,
Jake

Good eatin' today!

Servus!

The 3rd of October is the day of German Unification! This, of course, means that it's a bank holiday and I was able to enjoy the time off with Anna and friends.

Some of our guests arrived Tuesday evening so breakfast was a must on Wednesday. We decided to do something super cool and yummy: Bacon, Egg, and Toast Cups!





Super easy but a bit time-intensive. Despite the effort,you get something that's really delicious and very unique.

Later, the preparations began and we had pizza from the grill.



This is my favorite:



Barbecue sauce instead of tomato sauce, ground beef, bacon, jalapenos, red onions, and real mozzarella. If you order this from Joey's it's called "Conchita", from Kai's, its "The Elvis". I would like to call it "The Rattlesnake" but since this is not an original product of my imagination, I'll simply call it delicious.

I bid you Peace,
Jake

Fresh berries and chocolate....

Servus!

Who could resist such a delicious combination?

My gorgeous, inventive, and genteel girlfriend, Anna made another cake worthy of Carême (in my opinion, at least)

Observe:



This was the birthday cake for a friend. The cake itself is a cocoa sponge cake, layered, with a chocolate and cream mixture between the layers. The outside is a thin wall of bittersweet chocolate, bent around the outside and slightly larger to hold the fresh raspberries, blueberries and, red currants. I need not describe how rich it was.

A masterful work!



It was delicious...



I bid you Peace,
Jake

Cool stuff in the mail!

Servus!

I came home from work to find two really great things waiting for me in the daily post:

First, the new scales for my Victorinox Camper -



Made of G10 fiberglass (glass-epoxy laminate specified for its extremely high strength and high dimensional stability over temperature) the custom cut scales fit perfectly on my Camper, giving it extra grip, an easy to see color, and additionally a pocket clip, making it very easy to wear in my jeans every day.





The fine folks over at Custom Scale Division did a great job of fabricating exactly what I wanted for a fair price. The personnel were easy to talk to and helpful. Communication was great. I cannot recommend them highly enough!

Now I have the knife I want on my person at all times!

On to the second cool thing...

I got the newest book from J.D. Lenzen "Paracord Fusion Ties Vol. 1"



I can assure you, if you want to learn how to make cool stuuff in paracord, buy this book! My copy will never leave my hands and shall be well-loved in no time flat.

I bid you Peace,
Jake

Pizza Box Guy

Hi Folks,

Is it me or does the suave gentleman pictured on my pizza box remind you of someone...



Could just be my imagination.

Jake

It's not what you think...

Servus!



We'll get to this later...

In the mean time, I apologize to my regular readers (all four of you) for the delay in posting. Things get hectic and I have to cut time wherever I can. I'll try to keep you all in the loop.

So, Mexican Evening with friends:



Delicious wraps with spiced beef, fresh veggies and cheese. Not necessarily authentic but damned tasty!!



I had two - how could I resist?



So, now on to dessert!



What looked like a pot of spaghetti earlier is actually a cake made by my incredibly beautiful and intelligent girlfriend, the lovely and multi-talented Anna. Super delicious, even if I thought the strawberry sauce was far too sour... ;-)

I am constantly amazed at Anna's skill in baking. She always pulls off some delicious cake or dessert when others can barely make a yeast dough. She contends that it's simple - follow the instructions exactly as written and pay close attention to your time and everything will turn out fine.

Mmmm! Yummy cake!



Again, another successful dinner evening with good food and good friends!

Jake

Yes, it's a quiche.

Servus,

Another great way to get rid of all those vegetable that have been milling around in the crisper (not getting crisp...) is to make quiche. The effort is rather low and the result is usually something that is both healthy and tasty and the leftovers keep for a while. Nothing like a hot cup of joe and a slice of quiche for breakfast!

From Wikipedia: "Quiche is a savory, open-faced pastry crust dish with a filling of savory custard with cheese, meat or vegetables."

Now, some of you might be saying "ewww, quiche!" or even worse "real men don't eat quiche", which makes my heart burn hatefully with the heat of a thousand suns. Quiche has been a much-maligned foodstuff ever since Bruce Feirstein wrote his book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" in 1982. Despite it's rather tongue-in-cheek definitions of masculinity, most people didn't read the book at all and simply restated the title.

Fools! They don't know what they are missing! Not only is it delicious, you can fill it with damned near anything.



We made our quiche from ham, celery, carrots, green beans, chard, and green onions. Topped with tomatoes and Gruyere cheese, it was a meal fit for a king. At no time did my masculinity come into question.

Eating like a boss,
Jake

In Memoriam

On Saturday, 25 August, Neil Armstrong passed into the Great Beyond.

A statement from his family regarding his passing:

"For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request. Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink."

Godspeed, Neil...

;-)

OK, I guess it IS a food blog...

Servus!

Since most of the things that I seem to be reporting on are food-related, I think that it would be appropriate to call this a "food blog".

A couple of weekends ago, Anna and I had some friends over for burgers. Now, you may be thinking "what the hell is so special about burgers?", but I can assure you that this is no ordinary burger...

Did I mention that it was hot? This with almost 70% humidity?



Anyway, I positioned myself over the grill with no thoughts of the heat and tried my damnedest to make something delicious.

Starting with 100% beef - something that not everyone here in DE does - I formed patties in my wonderful press and grilled them to medium, using only fresh-ground salt and pepper as seasoning.

Anna and I found a sumptuous blue cheese at our grocer - not too strong and not too "moldy" in taste. Very creamy. Anna sliced this and placed it on the still warm patties:



Once you added the necessary components such as lettuce, tomato, bacon, onions, my homemade Roasted Garlic Chipotle mayo, you've got yourself quite a handful!





The potatoes you see in one of the pictures were an unmitigated disaster. My intent was to fan-cut the taters and bake them until done and shortly before grilling, spike them with bacon bits and cover with slices of cheddar and let them warm on the grill. Sadly, the timing was all screwed up and we ended up using "grated cheese" and butter while leaving them in the oven and they ended up tasting like a whole lot of nothing. They were even shitty with ketchup...

Live and learn.

The cool thing about this whole evening was not necessarily the food but the whole social aspect of the meal. All condiments, sides, etc. are laid out on the table and no one really has complete access to everything, so there was a lot of asking for this and that and getting up and milling about. This made it fun for everyone - it also cause us to interact with each other - something that formal dining tends to leave out in my opinion.



The best part of the meal wasn't the food, but the company in which it was shared.


Guten Appetit!

Jake

You know, this is NOT a food blog!

I just seem to post a lot of delicious creations ;-) Cooking with Anna is one of the highlights of my week and we usually have a bucket of fun cooking dinner. There is an element of surprise, spontaneity, creative process, trial and error, comedy, drama, despair, etc. when cooking together in our submarine-sized kitchen.

Yesterday, we needed to make room in the fridge and get some of our older vegetables out of the way. The answer: vegetable soup.



Chock full of goodness. As usual, we made enough to feed a platoon of starving soldiers so the leftovers will be frozen for another time.

The soup was hearty and very filling. As a soup should be.

Next up: Involtini!



Roulades of pork, rolled with Parma ham, pecorino, and basil pesto. Grilled over charcoal to perfection, smothered in a tomato sauce. Served with a noodle salad and a Rucola salad with tomatoes, Parmesan shavings and a reduced balsamic vinegar dressing.

Our friends did a wonderful job and created a memorable meal! Chapeau...

Moving on: Yufka

Most of my readers outside of Germany will have NO IDEA what this is -



A Yufka is a kind of döner kebap that uses a flat wheat lavash (Turkish = dürüm) instead of the traditional fladenbrot. This is something that I seem to only get in southern Germany - when my girl and I go to the Ruhrpott and I ask for a yufka, the dönerbude guy looks at me like I'm speaking French.

Best eaten with really salty fries and a Coke while standing up. Try not to eat the aluminum foil wrapper...

Guten!
Jake

Seasonal perfection!

Servus!

My girl and I receive a box of regional organic fruits and vegetables on a weekly basis - this assures that we have fresh, local, seasonal stuff in the house and we are forced a bit to assure that we use it before everything goes bad.

Currently, tomatoes are in season. We have been getting a LOT of tomatoes lately, and while this isn't a bad thing, it has been so hot lately that neither of us is really excited about cooking in the evening when we get home. This means that the traditional pasta sauces, stews, etc. that usually use up the tomatoes are not very appetizing when you think about standing over a steaming pot of sauce in a sauna-like kitchen.

My girl said that she'll make a tomato salad:



For two moderately hungry adults:

6 super fresh, organic, absolutely perfect tomatoes - we chilled ours, BTW
1 package of the finest feta cheese you can get your hands on
1 large, beautiful red onion

Your best olive oil, mild and fruity
Well aged Balsamic vinegar, preferably from a small company who has been bottling the stuff since the time of the Romans.

Freshly cracked pepper and ground red Hawaiian salt to taste

Cut the tomatoes, carefully removing the stem. Cut the onions into half-rings. Crumple the feta over the tomatoes. A lug or two of olive oil and a splash of the Balsamic. Carefully grind the salt and pepper to taste. Mix well, while considering the artisans and farmers who worked hard to bring you the finest ingredients possible. Eat on the balcony in the evening with a piece of fresh bread to soak up the heavenly oil and vinegar left over in the bowl.

You may think that I am overdoing it with the descriptions here but we did use the best stuff that we had, deciding that it was time to use it. Most of us have really good ingredients around the kitchen but we always seem to save them, opting for the lower quality product. I can tell you, it makes such a difference in the flavor. This was more of an experience, an epiphany, than a small meal.

This is also the reason that you should eat things that are in season. All of the great chefs go on about this but it's far too easy to pick up those horrible hydroponically-grown spheres of red water that are weakly passed off as "tomatoes" during winter and early spring.

Wait instead.

Wait to have vegetables that are bursting with flavor. By doing this, you respect something that was daily life for billions of people in the past and that, via modern technology and globalism, no longer is important or relevant. The wait is absolutely worth it. I would put money on it.

I haven't eaten this simply yet so well in quite a while. I can assure you, I was thankful for it.

I bid you Peace,
Jake

Hey Rattlesnake, what's fer supper?!?

Servus!

Something I hope to do more often is share with you all some of the really delicious things that my girl and I make for dinner.

Tonight, we had kohlrouladen, a.k.a Cabbage Rolls!



A hearty meal to say the least.

The recipe we used:

2 old bread rolls
1 head white cabbage
1 kg ground beef
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 egg

1 tsp. Garlic powder
2 tsp. Salt
1 tsp.Pepper
1/2 tsp. Hickory salt

1 Liter water
200 grams uncooked bacon bits
Packet of brown sauce mix
Butter
Butcher's string

Begin by softening the rolls in milk or water. Bring a large pot of water to boil and place the cabbage in with the bottom facing up and allow to blanch. remove the cabbage and peel off the outside leaves. Repeat this until you have enough leaves.

In a mixing bowl, place the ground beef, softened rolls,egg, and half the finely chopped onion. Knead vigorously, adding the spices.

Once mixed, take two or three cabbage leaves, overlap them and then add some of the mixture (about the size of a stick of butter). Wrap the leaves around the meat and then tie the little packets off with butcher's string.

Heat a pan to high and add butter. Place the rolls in the pan and fry on both sides until lightly brown. Remove and then make your sauce, first by frying the bacon bits and the other half of the onion in the pan. Make your brown sauce according to the directions and add to the bacon and onions.

Once the sauce is done (should be a tad watery) place the rolls in the sauce and cover. Simmer for an hour. Serve with mashed potatoes.



Guten Appetit!

Jake